Lately, I have been asking myself questions that I thought I might have figured out by now.
What do I really enjoy? What drains me? What fills me back up? Who do I enjoy spending time with? What activities leave me needing a little extra time to recover afterward?
And maybe the biggest question of all:
Who am I in this season?
There was a time when I thought adulthood meant I was supposed to know these things already. You grow up. You figure yourself out. You settle into your likes, dislikes, routines, and responsibilities.
Except I keep changing.
I have new ideas. New interests. Things I used to enjoy may not fit the same way anymore. Things I never paid much attention to before suddenly make me curious.
For a while, I wondered if I was supposed to have all of that figured out.
Now I am starting to wonder something different.
What if I approached this part of adulthood with a little more childlike curiosity?
Not by ignoring my responsibilities. Those are still very real. But maybe I can make some room alongside them.
As children, we are constantly discovering things about ourselves.
What is my favorite food? What do I want to be when I grow up? Do I like this? Do I want to try that?
Somewhere along the way, I think it becomes easy to stop asking.
But why?
There are still foods I have never tasted. Places I have never visited. Activities I have never tried. Even something I thought I disliked might surprise me if it is prepared differently.
And sometimes trying something teaches me that once was enough.
I tried zip lining. It was fun. I am glad I did it.
But do I need to search for a zip line every time I travel?
Probably not.
One time gave me the experience. Now I know what it feels like. If the opportunity comes around again, maybe I will do it. Maybe I will not.
That still counts.
I am learning that discovering myself does not always have to lead to a new hobby or some big life change.
Sometimes it is much smaller.
I notice that I love watching the sunset. I notice which experiences give me energy and which ones require some quiet time afterwards. I notice that my tastes change. I notice that something I thought I would enjoy really is not for me.
And sometimes I discover something unexpected that makes me think, “Oh. I like this.”
Those little discoveries matter.
I also find myself noticing God's creation more. There are moments when something as ordinary as looking outside reminds me how much there still is to observe, experience, and wonder about.
For me, that makes life feel a little bigger.
So maybe asking “Who am I?” does not have to come from a place of feeling lost.
Maybe it can come from curiosity.
Who am I now? What am I enjoying in this season of life? What am I ready to leave behind? What would I like to experience for the first time?
And what might I learn about myself if I give myself room to find out?
I do not think I need all of those answers today.
Maybe part of being alive is getting to keep discovering them.